Dad's New Year's Manifesto

Dad Unit here. It is hard to believe that 2008 is about to slip away. Some may see it as the end of a great year; others may just be glad that the whole thing is finally over. Whatever it is, it has been a fast-paced, crazy year! As for me, I'm 20 pounds heavier, several dollars lighter, and very blessed to have shared a healthy pregnancy with my best girl (that would be Wendy, in case any of you were wondering).

With 2009 about to dawn, our thoughts here have been primarily focused on welcoming our baby girl in February. We still have much to do, but our hopes sit high and our love runs deep. As with any New Year, it's the traditional time to contemplate one's resolutions. Not surprisingly, I've been focused on those resolutions I'll need in my new role as a dad. So, I thought I'd share a few of them with you. Maybe you'll also have a few suggestions for me! Here they are, in no particular order of importance:

First, I resolve to sustain an unfailing sense of humor. This is going to be a key resolution, not only for dealing with the unexpected worries of pregnancy and delivery yet-to-come but also for dealing with the challenges of being a first-time dad. Let's be honest, diapers filled with the most unspeakable things since H.P. Lovecraft penned a tale, spit-ups just when I cannot find a towel, and inconsolable crying are my immediate future. Nothing but a wily - some would say devious - sense of humor will keep the creatures of anxiety restrained. Besides, with the exception of the gift of love, what other tool can I offer my little girl to help her deal with life's obstacles and to fill her soul with glee?

Second, I resolve to be patient with baby. Flipper will at first be able to communicate only through crying. There will be those moments where she will be incredibly frustrated with no way to tell me why. Patience will be a necessary thing to help me lovingly work through all the aggravations she and I will face together.

Third, I resolve to be patient with Wendy. I appreciate that Wendy has endured much during her pregnancy, and there will be more to go. Once the baby comes, she'll need time to recuperate physically, mentally, emotionally, and even sexually. Wendy deserves all of the understanding, caring and support I can give - and more. It helps, too, that I happen to be crazy in love with the girl.

Fourth, I resolve to be patient with myself. Those of you who know me know that I tend to lack grace towards myself. I understand that I'll be anxious, I'll be tired, and I'll want to beat myself over the head for every time I think I didn't get it quite right. I'll have to find the persistence of Sisyphus to keep myself healthy for my family. I'll also have to give myself permission to rest and recharge whenever I can; doing that without guilt will be nearly impossible for me.

Fifth, I resolve to participate in every aspect of my baby's care and life. This one should be a given, but we still live in a society where the importance of fathers is downplayed. Dad heads to the office; dad goes to lodge; dad meets with his associates - all while mom stays at home. That's not me, though. My friends and colleagues will have to get used to me not being available like I have been in the past. That is going to be hard, for I shall feel guilty about it. I shall also undoubtedly delay, or even forfeit, a few good opportunities; I may even lose a few good relationships. I'll try my best, but - and I say this selfishly - I never thought I'd be a dad. Now that it is happening, I so much want to with my family. My participation in Flipper's care and nurturing is essential to both of us - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I've yet to meet my little girl, but I already love her so very much. I want to be the guy who changes diapers, does the feeding, and, most of all, shares a wonderful life with her, her mother, and her sister.

Sixth, I resolve to make time for both my wife and my stepdaughter. A new baby means that a lot of energy will be going one place - the baby. I'll need to remind myself from time-to-time that I must also continue to nurture my life with Wendy and with Kennedy (who is as much an actual daughter to me as Flipper is).

Seventh, I resolve that my intentions and actions shall be born from a place of Love and Light. No need to say more here.

... And that is my list of "Dad" Resolutions so far. In closing, to all who have been keeping up with this blog, we wish you each a Happy, Prosperous, and Loving New Year.

Grace & Peace to all!

Belated Merry Christmas!

Despite my best efforts to have a couple of really cool posts prior to Christmas, nothing has gone up until today - oh well; that's just the way it goes. I forget many times just how much I can do before wearing out. Case in point, last Monday when I ran like a crazy person all day doing last minute stuff and was rewarded with an extremely sore body and a grumpy me. Of course, my other reward was a very patient and understanding spouse with a back rub. I do love that man . . .
Santa came to our house, regardless of how bad I was this year - of course, we did make him home-made sugar cookies, so that might have helped. Flipper scored some really cool stuff: a pair of slippers that look like duck feet and say "Flipper Slippers" (these are definitely going to the hospital with us), a Pooh outfit, onesie, hat and such (also going in with us), and a baby massage book (which was actually for dad, but the lucky recipient of said massage is you-know-who).
We have been bummed because we haven't been able to make the trip to northern Indiana yet - the weekend right before Christmas there was an awful ice storm up there, so we'll be headed up this weekend to visit with the rest of the family; hopefully I won't have to make too many bathroom breaks along the way!
December 24th was our most recent checkup with another on the heels on January 5th. Seems like time is going by so fast and it doesn't help when the appointments are two weeks apart (What? It's been a month already?!?!? Oh wait . . .). Anyhoo, things are looking good for Flipper - she's growing well (and how) and heartbeat is a steady 140 again. My blood pressure was just a teensy bit elevated (or at least elevated for me, seeing as how the levels were still within normal range), so I'm having to check the old ticker pipes this week to see how things are going; might be all the swell holiday food getting me all excited. Anyway, we'll let you know after the 5th what is up.
Hope everyone had a great holiday!!!!!!!

60 Days

Yep, sixty days left - at least until February 13th. According to the poll, a majority seem to think it'll be 61 days. We will see, won't we . . .
Friday's appointment went well; heartbeat at a healthy 140 and she's moving around as she sees fit; still transverse for the most part and thumping my left side when she's happy or annoyed (I can never tell for sure). Sometimes she seems to tap in an area - I noticed this the other night when I was trying to get back to sleep after a mid-evening bathroom break; I was lying on my right side, which appears to be where her head is, and she just started tapping in one place, over and over. it wasn't like the usual kick or stretch - this was definite tapping, like she was saying, "Ok, mom - make me stand on my head; I'll annoy you until you roll over." I believe it worked.
Flipper got to listen to big sister play at her band recital last week (for the record, Kennedy did exceptionally well). She either really likes or really hates trumpets because she would seem to react to trumpet sound. Drum sound, not so much, contrary to what you would think. I was doing some reacting to the reed-squeaking clarinet playing that seemed to dominate much of the proceedings, but she seemed ok with it. Maybe this means that she is not easily startled and pretty easy-going.
The diabetic thing is going ok - the doc seemed pleased with the results of the drug she prescribed and felt that my blood levels were pretty good. I expressed some irritation with holiday food and what it does to my system but she was pretty cool about it. I guess things are ok. That helps to justify making and eating brownies last night - of course, these were for a school assignment, so they had to be co-made with Kennedy as well as tested for quality control. As a result, my levels are just fine today - see, I've learned how to behave within the confines of my limits (for the most part - ask me about the Pop-Tart experiment). Now to get through the rest of the holiday season without going berserk!

Hormonal Rant Two

I think it's kind of funny how for most of your adult life, people touch other people on the shoulder, arm, hand, give hugs and whatnot but that walking up to someone and just patting or rubbing their belly unsolicited would get you at the very least yelled at, but probably smacked. Yet during pregnancy, we females (Oh, alright and one person who is legally a guy) can be walking around, minding our own business, and perfect strangers do it and think it's ok. Even acquaintances and friends do it, and while they do it they say stuff like, "Oh I know this is rude to do without asking, but I'm doing it anyway." That's kind of messed up. What makes it worse is that people seem to have this sixth sense about when I'm feeling physically uncomfortable and do it then, which is the worst time to do it - I'm a well-trained animal, but even the most domesticated beast can bite when in distress. For the most part, you'll get the eye-roll, which is the surest indicator that you have crossed a personal space line without permission, but I did bark at a student one day who came at me with both hands out and moving at full speed. Another person ran up and did it while I was in a work conversation with one of my office mates, which really, and I do mean really honked me off (this also happened to be the person who had rudely come up and asked if I was just getting fat a few months back - thank you, random person; my self-image really needed that kind of boost right about then). I do get looks from people who seem to want to touch but are respectful - and if they ask, I would be ok with it unless I just weren't feeling well. Bottom line, society expects preggos to be gracious about unsolicited touching in an area of our bodies that we feel very protective and sensitive about - but remember, society: please be respectful and ask.