Dad's New Year's Manifesto

Dad Unit here. It is hard to believe that 2008 is about to slip away. Some may see it as the end of a great year; others may just be glad that the whole thing is finally over. Whatever it is, it has been a fast-paced, crazy year! As for me, I'm 20 pounds heavier, several dollars lighter, and very blessed to have shared a healthy pregnancy with my best girl (that would be Wendy, in case any of you were wondering).

With 2009 about to dawn, our thoughts here have been primarily focused on welcoming our baby girl in February. We still have much to do, but our hopes sit high and our love runs deep. As with any New Year, it's the traditional time to contemplate one's resolutions. Not surprisingly, I've been focused on those resolutions I'll need in my new role as a dad. So, I thought I'd share a few of them with you. Maybe you'll also have a few suggestions for me! Here they are, in no particular order of importance:

First, I resolve to sustain an unfailing sense of humor. This is going to be a key resolution, not only for dealing with the unexpected worries of pregnancy and delivery yet-to-come but also for dealing with the challenges of being a first-time dad. Let's be honest, diapers filled with the most unspeakable things since H.P. Lovecraft penned a tale, spit-ups just when I cannot find a towel, and inconsolable crying are my immediate future. Nothing but a wily - some would say devious - sense of humor will keep the creatures of anxiety restrained. Besides, with the exception of the gift of love, what other tool can I offer my little girl to help her deal with life's obstacles and to fill her soul with glee?

Second, I resolve to be patient with baby. Flipper will at first be able to communicate only through crying. There will be those moments where she will be incredibly frustrated with no way to tell me why. Patience will be a necessary thing to help me lovingly work through all the aggravations she and I will face together.

Third, I resolve to be patient with Wendy. I appreciate that Wendy has endured much during her pregnancy, and there will be more to go. Once the baby comes, she'll need time to recuperate physically, mentally, emotionally, and even sexually. Wendy deserves all of the understanding, caring and support I can give - and more. It helps, too, that I happen to be crazy in love with the girl.

Fourth, I resolve to be patient with myself. Those of you who know me know that I tend to lack grace towards myself. I understand that I'll be anxious, I'll be tired, and I'll want to beat myself over the head for every time I think I didn't get it quite right. I'll have to find the persistence of Sisyphus to keep myself healthy for my family. I'll also have to give myself permission to rest and recharge whenever I can; doing that without guilt will be nearly impossible for me.

Fifth, I resolve to participate in every aspect of my baby's care and life. This one should be a given, but we still live in a society where the importance of fathers is downplayed. Dad heads to the office; dad goes to lodge; dad meets with his associates - all while mom stays at home. That's not me, though. My friends and colleagues will have to get used to me not being available like I have been in the past. That is going to be hard, for I shall feel guilty about it. I shall also undoubtedly delay, or even forfeit, a few good opportunities; I may even lose a few good relationships. I'll try my best, but - and I say this selfishly - I never thought I'd be a dad. Now that it is happening, I so much want to with my family. My participation in Flipper's care and nurturing is essential to both of us - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I've yet to meet my little girl, but I already love her so very much. I want to be the guy who changes diapers, does the feeding, and, most of all, shares a wonderful life with her, her mother, and her sister.

Sixth, I resolve to make time for both my wife and my stepdaughter. A new baby means that a lot of energy will be going one place - the baby. I'll need to remind myself from time-to-time that I must also continue to nurture my life with Wendy and with Kennedy (who is as much an actual daughter to me as Flipper is).

Seventh, I resolve that my intentions and actions shall be born from a place of Love and Light. No need to say more here.

... And that is my list of "Dad" Resolutions so far. In closing, to all who have been keeping up with this blog, we wish you each a Happy, Prosperous, and Loving New Year.

Grace & Peace to all!